How to Not Get a Job You Don't Want

Well, today I had an interview for a job that, on the surface, sounded to good to be true.  The pay was great, the benefits full, and all sorts of other goodies.

I was so excited when I got the call last week to set up the interview that I could barely control myself as I sat on a bench in the L.L. Bean store at Ross Park Mall, quietly grinning from ear to ear.  That didn't last too long.

Like most things that sound too good, this job tuned out to be a real lulu.

I did my due diligence and, like any good job candidate, researched the firm, one of the leaders in online education.  What I found wasn't even not flattering... it was pure flashing red light that said, "RUN, DO NOT WALK!  THIS JOB IS POISONOUS!"

The facts are clear:  the company is under federal investigation for lying to prospective students; they fire people en masse and on a whim; the pay is based on quotas of students brought in; and their stock price has plunged from a high of about $30 to a current low under $4.

If that's not enough to signal "TOXIC", I even had friends affirm to me that it is a place they'd seen make friends miserable.

The sad thing is that the story goes how the place was once great... how they actually cared about students, how employees were happy, and how everything worked.  And then, like any fairy tale, a wicked factor enters.  In this case, Goldman Sachs bought a controlling interest.  Since then, it's been all profits and damn the rest.

That was made manifest when I pulled up across the street this morning to park.  Outside the low-slung, long building was a group of at least thirty people on a smoke break... each with a look about them that said "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here."

I went inside, signed in, and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  After arriving at 10:45 for an 11 a.m. interview, I wasn't seen by anyone until nearly 11:30.  The young lady who met with me answered basically nothing I asked.  She spoke in a tone that I always equate with a person who is trying to mollify you with their softened, condescending voice.

When I was asked if I had any questions, I was completely clear:  I had read the negative opinion of them online and hoped that they (she) could convince me that those dozens of opinions from a great many people and many reports from individual news outlets were all false.

Clearly, she couldn't.

The interview that was slated to last about two hours lasted less than one.  In total, I probably spent less than fifteen minutes of the hour I was there actually speaking to a human being.

I exited the building shortly before 11:50 a.m. knowing I'd never walk back in.

Shortly before 5 p.m., I received the speediest rejection email I've ever known.  It was the usual fare:  how upon further review and consideration (all five hours of it, am I right?) they'd decided not to move forward with me as a candidate.  I was wished good luck, etcetera.

And then, I don't know where it came from, but I actually sent a reply.

I said, quite plainly, "I'm guessing that was because I questioned the company's bad PR, the federal investigations, the pay matrix, and other things.  Good luck to you all, too!"

No shrinking violet, I...

Actually, I thought of Violet - specifically, the Dowager Countess of Grantham - as I sat alone in the interview room.  I contemplated leaving repeatedly.  Suddenly, Maggie Smith, in all of her resplendent Dowager Countess-ness, popped into my head, saying, "Don't be defeatist, dear, it's very middle-class."

And, with that, I knew I'd be fine.  I stayed, I listened, I conquered.  I didn't play along just to get a job that I knew would destroy me.

The journey continues.  This was just a pothole in the road, one I'm glad I didn't let cause me any real damage.  It was just a temporary inconvenience on the way to where I need to go.